HELP!!!!

Never in my life did I think i was going to be to the point with my children where I would need help, well of course we all need help and there are struggles, but this one is to the extreme. X, we can deal with, we know the cause and effect of what life in saginaw is for him and its just something out of our control, especially in the summer when its two weeks on two weeks off, but he leaves a big boy and comes home crying over everything and absolutly throwing a fit like a two year old. We understand its what goes on down there and that we just have to pattern him back to reality. My teenager, is well just that still, a teen......mouthy sometimes, knows it ALL, and not very helpful but definatly doing more than she thinks is nescassary....typical. The middle child, Khamille is outta control. She is 9 and about 190 pds, i cannot get her to stop eating or thinking about food. Its almost like its a compulsive disease. Granted her father and I are both overweight and have never steered her properly I get that, I have gone to the extreme as to weigh out her food with her, show her whats proper to eat, and taken away almost all sweets in the house. Good for the whole family really, but khamille will continue to think, dream, lie, and abbuse this food issue. I literally have never seen someone eat as much as she does except for when i weighed in at 400pds. I am frustrated. I have no outlets because everyone says work with her, write it down, show her it can be done, give her options, etc etc etc....done it all, to the point where I can now say NO and she will out right say I don't love her and I am starving her to death, slam doors, scream mean things, throw fits...........its not at all healthy for any of us. I know she is lacking love.......crazy to say when i can love til i am blue in the face all of the children and anyone else who needs it. I try to do my best with her but its not going to be what she needs............she needs cuddled, hugged, picked up, all the things anyone elses normal 9 year old would want, but she either goes about it wrong or just plain doesn't get it. My husband was great with her for awhile, especially since he is the one who doesn't like to touch....he would hug her, even patting her on the back, which i thought, well now that i think about it is almost worse, cause it just doesn't seem like real love to her. I am at a complete stand still with her.............. counceling, jogging, sports, friends, clothes, done it all, nothing is good enough. Even mom time didn't work out, we totally butt heads and it just turns into a disapointment for her. Is there something i can do ?????? I love her sooo much!!!! I don't want to see her hurt anymore.