just when u think.......

I am not even sure where to start this one off at.....my life is full of some serious stuff in a not so serious way right now. I am sick, god help me and the family for when this happens life goes crazy, noone in the house can figure out what or how to do things. This is when i usually try to let the girls go somewhere because my hubby gets all frustrated with to many tasks, then i in turn get frustrated with him because this is stuff i do every day without batting an eye, and i always wonder why he can't seem to grasp it all and do what i do. No questions or answers for that one other than he is MALE. (giggle). Its just a tooth issue so i hope it won't last to long as i only have a few down days that i can even take. Getting better as I had to have them pulled and now they say dentures at 36...wow....what a mess, and another cost we have NO money for. My hubby got laid off so I am picking up some hours at a store and working my houses too, no telling what this school year will bring with my hubby doing some of the school stuff. Pray for us please. Missing my family in NY and trying to cope with what little family I have here. Finding out that my heart is on my sleeve and I have NO backbone to support it. Damn this is a hard lesson to learn. I think I have attempted to learn it for awhile now, and god will continue to test me while I fail misserably. Praying for that one too :) No luck on a church yet but haven't really had time for that. Finding out that real friends are hard to come by and trying to understand why my blood family is so out of control. I have been counting my blessings and always will, noone is dying and life is just at a hectic point. I am usually good at managing money and getting the kids what they need but how do you do it with no money. By the grace of god I think. Loosing my faith in myself because all my actions are turning into disasters. Haven't stayed in complete contact with my mother in law as she is super stressed and busy herself. Oh how i remember the days i talked to her for hours and felt soooooo relieved. I am hoping my girls don't end up making all these silly mistakes I have made by opening my heart to everyone, but unfortunatly I am sure they are both on the same path. Never would have thought kindness would be a path of destruction. I am pretty sure its time to clean out my closet but not sure where or how to start, i don't have any idea how to be mean. O.k. so I have a idea but can't stick to it. Life is just that at the moment.......LIFE. thankful i got a day away and enjoyed some great memories with my little bro as it was probably a once in a lifetime oppurtunity cuz he isn't always "here" either. I am good with all the faith god has put in me to keep this family I have a float but I wish he would put some faith in others to be kind and considerate for what I have been doing. praying today. p.s. my son is home now so that eases alot of thoughts, and both kids have done two progressive councelor appts. I love the new person they are seeing as she is opening my eyes to new ideas as to why these things are going on in their lives.