4th of July, Still learning.

WOW..... evidentally my upbringing puts alot of stress on my mothering and my feelings. My mother-inlaw, aunt and I took kids to blue angels this afternoon. I got up and packed stuff up for seven, coolers, toys, towels, suits, and extra stuff needed for that many. My parents always taught me that if we are going to something big be prepared to enjoy it, deal with it, and stay through it. I know now I might have high expectations of my children that should not be. I found a spot for all of us, half shade, half sun and let the kids run and enjoy the beach. My son became bored because I wouldn't let him go off without supervision, my teenager was wanting to leave and go with friends, and my middle daughter wanted to stay and watch. Three differant situations. Not to mention I was trying to "please and enjoy" my mother-inlaw, aunt and gb. To my suprise before the show started I was packing up and leaving. Yes I became very annoyed which is something I need to work very hard at NOT doing. I have a hard time understanding why my hard work can't just be appreciated instead of torn into pieces. I think its those damn expectations again of just hoping that EVERYONE will be happy. Of course in the end when we all got home everyone was pretty fine with it all. HMMMM, just me? I decided to go for a little drive to let myself calm down for a minute and came back two hours later to "normal" again. If there is such a thing. I would love to continue doing things for my family to enjoy but why is it we are all into enjoying differant things. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make them all appreciate things. HAHA, right? I am sure someday it will all come back around, at least I know I grew up and realized that my mom did the best she could with what she had, and I now appreciate the little things in life instead of wanting wanting wanting........ I explained to my mother-inlaw I was sorry. In the back of my head I was thinking her favorite saying..."so this is life." I am going to continue on my evening and see what happens. Going to pray about expectations and see what god gives me on that one. Still searching for an answer to that. I really need to find an alternative to expecting everyone to be happy with the way I do things and the simple stuff. I am a lover not a fighter and I really need to stop and breathe for a minute. My mother in law thinks I should retake english 101 so I can figure out how to express my true feelings instead of what I think people want to hear.......wow will that be a hard one considering I never got to have an opinion in my family growing up. One more thing to change about Angie. Who is Angie??????