i love him and her, do i have to make a choice?

As i sit here in bed next to my husband i know I love him more than anything in the world. He is a kind, caring, considerate man whom I thought was in love with our family. This includes my children also. He really spends a good amount of time with them all so I guess thats why I am blogging tonight. I really want to just lay here and cry. Its really the first time I can't. It scares me. Am I really loosing my emotions? Am i really that mad that I can't cry? Am i scared to cry for he might wake up and say "great, what now?" Do i even have a reason to cry? What it is I don't know why???? I decided to put an issue on the table this evening for a few people to comment on because I am having a hard time dealing with it. It was important to me, but not to important to others. My daughter (boo)......she really has some instabilities that I cannot grasp. I tried talking to my hubby about it and got, "well hunny she is annoying, and i really don't want to deal with it." I could have said the same thing about him and my step-son about three years ago now but i didn't instead I devoted most of my time and energy to making sure they were insinc with the family. Lots of extra love and attention for them both to make them aware that in this family we love them unconditionally. Well here I am today in the same spot with my little girl. Is it that I pushed her aside to focus on them because I thought they(my girls) would wether the storm? Is it because I hate her dad so much and he isn't complying with what he "promised" her that is making her act out? Is it because all of a sudden my hubby agrees with the others that he is pushing her back out again? Is it just because she is overweight and overbearing that I can't deal with it? Is it because I am mad at myself for not being able to help and focus on just her? WHY WHY WHY???? I am so mad at my husband for answering the question that way and then saying, "hunny i am naked", like what i was trying to talk to him about was not important to him. I can't honestly believe him at this moment, he used to talk to me about issues I had with all the kids, he used to help me understand wether he agreed or not. Now all of a sudden its just, "shes helpless but I will deal with her because she is a part of our family." My mother in law was looking at a site with children who were adopted and then couldn't be handled by the adopted family, whom then are ending up sending the child back. I was so sad, but thought to myself, my baby girl needs a family to love her. I want someone to take her in their arms and tell her its gonna be alright. I do do this as much as I can, when I am not upset with her and I will never let her leave our family but what do i do? I am scared, I am hurt, I am angry. Why would my one true love, my supposidly best friend, the one i promised god i would love forever just push something so hard and hurtful to me aside like it was a situation that couldn't be fixed so why deal with it......... This is not like him and he hasn't really been himself latley anyways. I know its not cuz his family is here because it started before they got here. I don't feel loved and I don't feel like he really loves her. He has been great with the oldest and his son. Actually doing things with them he hasn't done before. I don't know if its to impress his parents or what, but whats the matter with boo. I realize she has alot of issues right now, god please show her that you love her and you will keep her safe through all this pain she is feeling. I wanna pick up the phone and just start screaming at her dad, he hasnt called, responded to her calls, trying to contact her or nothing in a week now. She is lonley without him I know that because when he is within her reach she knew she still had someone loving her unconditionally. I really do not like him right now. I can't do a damn thing about it and maybe thats why I am so mad.............I just want my husband to hold me like he used to and tell me its gonna be ok and that he loves me. He hasn't really done it in so long i am numb. I feel like its over, like he is getting ready to move on. I could be acting on feelings he shared with me along time ago, that he wasnt good at loving someone for more than three years or so because he likes change. This scares me also, because its part of his seperation situation with his adoption and also his "bipolar issue" that makes him not be able to stay on the same thing for to long. I am going to pray now that the tears are running down my face, maybe thats gods way of telling me its going to be o.k. I am crying and I want someone to hold me sooo bad. This is probably not making sense to most because right now I can't even read the screen let alone know that what I have been typing is even making sense. Please say a prayer for me, goodnight.